The liberation that comes from an understanding of trauma, evolutionary biology, brain function and the absence of free will is double-edged.

On the one hand I am a very privileged and lucky person. I have lived long enough and read enough to begin to understand my history and forgive myself, to have compassion for myself and stop despising myself. To stop punishing myself. I have an explanation for how I have behaved and who I am. This is extremely positive and liberating.

On the other if my actions in the past were determined by evolution, genetics, culture, politics, economics, parenting, trauma etc. so must they be now.

If I have that understanding, to what extent am I empowered to alter the depths of my personality – my very identity – to feel a more relaxed and happy person?

Can the knowledge that I was “doomed” actually make me any less doomed in the present and future? Does that knowledge of the absence of choice give me any choice? Aaaaaagh! My head hurts! Inevitably….